


Never Too Late

by Lurkinginthecorner



Category: Hunger Games (2012) RPF, Josh Hutcherson - Fandom, Real Person Fiction, jennifer lawrence - Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-04
Updated: 2014-01-04
Packaged: 2018-01-07 11:25:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1119275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lurkinginthecorner/pseuds/Lurkinginthecorner
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I know that feeling of loving somebody so much that, you know, you just want them to be okay even if they do love somebody else, well at least they're alive. [...] Okay, but you still love somebody else. That still sucks." Jennifer lets something slip in an interview that Josh picks up on.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never Too Late

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a little one-shot idea that came to my mind a while ago. This is NOT part of the I Loved You All Along universe.

I wasn’t expecting this.

At all.

I figured seeing him again after being apart for so long would likely awake something inside of me, but I never expected to be swallowed whole by those feelings. Being near him filled me with longing, regret, but also, surprisingly, a little bit of hope.

I think I did a pretty good job at hiding my true feelings, though. I had to fight all day not to let myself get a little closer to him, let my hands rest on his body a little too long, stare at his handsome face a little too hard.

As I enter my hotel room after we get back from the Facebook headquarters, I let out a deep sigh. I look around me in search of the lighting switch and I quickly turn it on. I leave my purse on the desk and keep walking to the window, where I stare at the people strolling on the street down below and force myself to stop thinking about what happened today.

To stop seeing his crooked smile.

To stop imagining his bright eyes.

To stop dreaming of his arms around me.

As I lose myself in my thoughts, I almost don’t hear the sound of someone knocking at the door. I frown and go back to open it. I furrow my eyebrows deeper when I take in who’s standing there.

“I know you’re probably tired, but I thought, maybe... you’d still want to spend some time with me tonight? Since, you know... we’ve barely had a chance to see each other lately.”

I fight hard to keep my smile contained. Inside though, the butterflies have taken flight as soon as I caught a glimpse of his red plaid shirt.

“Come in,” I say, closing the door behind him. He walks to the couch and crashes there soundly.

“That was one exhausting day,” he says, running a hand over his tired face.

“Yep. And it’s just the beginning. Want some wine?”

“Sure.”

I grab the bottle of red wine I had planned to drink by myself over the course of our stay in San Francisco and pour us two glasses. As I hand him one, I can’t help but study his pretty face, committing all the details to memory. We’re about to embark on a crazy run of promotional events and premieres for _Catching Fire_ , but somehow, I want to remember this day. I feel like, even though it was pretty busy, we’re still experiencing the calm before the storm.

Josh seems to sense my gaze on him and looks up. I lean on the desk without a word, taking a sip of wine in an attempt to cover my embarrassing round of staring. As I chance a glance towards him, I see his eyes look me up and down, triggering a rush of warmth in my whole body.

“It was nice to see all the fans. They’re all so excited for the movie,” I say, breaking the awkward silence.

“Yeah, it was,” he nods with a smile. “No matter how tired I am before doing this stuff, they give me an energy boost and I don’t feel it anymore.”

“Same,” I reply, lifting the glass to my lips once again.

“I missed you a lot these last few weeks though.”

I almost choke with the wine.

“You did?” I reply in a weak voice.

“Of course, I did,” he says. “There’s no one else in the world I have more fun with than you.”

“Not even your girlfriend?”

The words feel like lead on my tongue.

“Not even my girlfriend.”

I nod and look away to hide my reaction, but he’s so perceptive, he senses it before I even have time to make a move.

“Jen?”

I slowly turn to look at him, fighting hard to keep the tears I feel burning my eyes from falling down.

“There’s something I was wondering...” he starts, getting up to stand in front of me. I feel my heart beating faster in my chest and I swallow heavily.

“Yes?”

“When you said you could relate to Gale because you knew what it was to love somebody who loved someone else... was it true?”

 “Why do you wanna know that?”

“I don’t know. You usually tell me everything so, I was kinda puzzled cause it didn’t sound like something you’d ever told me. I guess I was just curious.”

We’re heading towards dangerous territory now. I knew I was playing with fire when I revealed that seemingly innocent tidbit of information in the interview; I kinda expected Josh to pick up on it, but I was still hoping he wouldn’t question me about it.

I briefly consider lying to him, but in the end, I decide to be honest, despite the hole I’m likely digging for myself with these revelations.

“Alright. Yes, it was true.”

He nods.

“Nick while you were broken up,” he says on a confident tone.

“No.”

“Oh, okay.”

He looks thoughtful for a minute, and I begin to hope he drops the subject. But I know how curious he is, and that he won’t let go until he knows.

“It was nothing, really,” I cringe at my obvious lie. If he doesn’t stop fishing for information any time soon, he’ll guess my secret. And I really can’t let that happen. “Do you want more wine?”

His glass is still half-full, but I don’t care. I need something to distract myself and hopefully lead him to change subjects.

“Ummm, yeah, sure.”

I take the bottle and pour some more wine in each of our glasses. As I put it back on the desk, I take advantage of that moment facing away from Josh to close my eyes briefly and try to wet my drying throat.

“You know,” I hear him say to my back,”I was once in that position too. I think we all have already been.”

“Yeah, it’s a pretty common shitty situation.”

I turn around and smile at him shyly. If he’s not gonna change subjects, I will have to do it on my own.

“So, how did it go with Liam at the Twitter thingy?”

“Oh, pretty well,” he chuckles, “except that apparently I got in trouble again.”

“How so?”

“To quote the publicist,” he says, changing his voice to a high-pitched one, “’you can’t tease Peeta Mellark! It doesn’t go well with the fans!’ So yeah... I messed up.”

“What did you say?”

He takes a gulp of wine before answering.

“I was asked what I would tell to Peeta in real life, and I kinda yelled ‘Move on!’, but I was being all sarcastic and shit, but apparently I suck at sarcasm...”

I force a laugh to hide the unpleasant feeling that’s rooting deeper inside me. That “move on” answer he’s been repeating to reporters ever since Comic-Con is starting to get old. He has no idea that he actually stabs my heart every time he lets those words come out of his mouth.

Because to me, it kinda means that if he ever had some sort of feelings for me, now they’re gone. And for my part, I should take his advice, but I just can’t.

I thought after we saw each other for the last time this summer, when we pre-recorded a few interviews for the press tour, I would be able to bury these feelings deep inside me forever, but it’s obvious by the rapid beating of my heart as he stands in front of me, so close that I can almost feel his breath on my skin as he talks, that I haven’t succeeded yet.

“Sometimes you don’t get to control how you move on from somebody,” I reply, surprising myself by my guts. “You just have to wait until the feelings fade away. And it can take time.”

“Yeah. But when they never seem to fade, sometimes you have to make an effort to help it.”

He stares at me with a serious gaze. An intense urge to cry washes over me, but I manage to keep it in check for now.

“Have you moved on?” he adds in a low voice.

I can’t hide the tears now. I turn around, press my hand on my eyes to cover my tears and lean on the desk. Josh gently rubs my back and murmurs.

“I’m sorry, Jen. I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“It’s okay,” I whisper. “No, I haven’t moved on.”

“Geez, who’s that lucky guy who could have Jennifer Lawrence for himself but who chose to be with somebody else instead?” He says with a playful tone.

Instead of lightening the mood, his joke makes it even heavier, and as I look up and stare at him, I instantly see the flicker of recognition in his eyes. He doesn’t dare voice out loud what he’s thinking though.

“You,” I let out, before looking down and sobbing harder. “I’m sorry. I know you’re happy with Claudia now, and I don’t want to ruin our friendship. I shouldn’t have said that in the interview, it’s like I was looking for trouble. Well, now you know. Just don’t be mad at me, okay?”

“Why would I be mad at you?” he says with a soft voice, lifting my chin with his finger so I don’t have a choice but to take in his understanding gaze.

“Because it’s useless, and it was always so uncomplicated between us...”

“But you can’t control who you love, Jen.”

“I know that. But as long as you didn’t know, it wasn’t hurting anybody.”

He nods.

“Well, I don’t mind,” he says with a smile. “But what about Nick? Don’t you love him?”

I don’t know why, but thinking about my boyfriend while I’m admitting to Josh that I’m in love with him feels wrong.

“I do,” I start. Josh’s eyes turn from happy to sad in an instant. “But I think I didn’t choose to get back with him for the right reasons.”

“What do you mean?”

It takes me a moment to collect my thoughts. I sense Josh’s patient gaze on me, curious for an answer, but supportive of the situation.

“I’m comfortable with him. I enjoy his presence. But I think I started dating him again to forget you. And it’s a pretty shitty reason to date someone.”

Josh doesn’t answer right away, probably sensing that I still have things to let out, so I keep going.

“And it didn’t even work...”

As the tears make a reappearance and I try to hide them from Josh, he slides his arms around my waist and pulls me to him in one of his own comforting bear hugs. I let my face rest on the skin of his neck and enjoy the movement of his hand lightly stroking my back.

“Oh, Jen... he whispers. “You should have told me that earlier.”

“Why?”

He pulls away so I don’t have a choice but to look him in the eyes. I see him swallow thickly before taking a deep breath, and then his eyes flicker away because he doesn’t seem to be able to stand my gaze for what he’s about to say.

“Because you’re the one I was trying to move on from,” he finally lets out in a sigh.

“And the difference between you and me is that you succeeded,” I reply, my heart heavy.

“No.”

“What is it, then?”

“There’s no difference.”

For a moment, I’m too confused to talk. Is he really saying what I think he is? His serious, insistent gaze seems to indicate that he is.

“But I thought... Claudia...”

“I told you. I thought if I tried harder, it would help me move on. But it didn’t work, obviously.”

He grabs my hands and stares at them while he speaks.

“I do feel something for Claudia. She’s a very sweet girl, she’s pretty. When I see her, she manages to make me forget my pain for a while. But no matter how hard I try to bury them, the feelings always come back. When I hear the notification sound of an incoming text message, my heart beats faster, hoping it’s coming from you. Every night before I go to sleep, I take the time to look at a picture of you, wishing you were there with me. But every time I find myself longing for you, I can’t help but remember the pics of you with Nick in Montreal. You looked so happy...”

I recall that day in the park, a little after I decided to give up any chance of a relationship with Josh and chose to try again with Nick instead. It was good to relax in the sun, the sound of the water gently moving in the lake nearby, and nobody seemingly paying attention to us.

“I was trying to re-read _Mockingjay_ that day,” I recall, a sad smile at the corner of my lips. “And I remember I had to pause every two pages because I couldn’t stop thinking about you. Every time I’d read ‘Peeta’ in the book, I’d think of you. And so I would turn to Nick to try and forget you.”

“Why didn’t you ever tell me?” he finally asks in that low voice of his, that voice that makes me want to curl up in a ball and cry.

I look away.

“It took me a long time to realize it. And when I did, you were back from Panama with your girlfriend, so I thought it was too late.”

I see him nod from the corner of my eye.

“But you?” I ask, turning my head back to him. “Why didn’t you just tell me?”

“Because of Nick, obviously,” he replies softly. “I kept it to myself because I knew you were happy with him. There was no use letting you know, especially because it would have ruined our friendship.”

“But when he broke up with me last year...”

“Even if I had suspected you might have had feelings for me, I didn’t want to be your rebound. I’ve already given enough in that department, thank you very much.”

“You wouldn’t have been a rebound.”

“But I couldn’t possibly know that, Jen. All I knew was that you definitely weren’t over Nick. And I wouldn’t have been a good friend to take advantage of that.”

“I know.”

I look down and take a deep breath.

“So, now that it’s out of the way, anything else you want to know?” I say, wiping my tears in one swift movement.

“Jen...” he replies, gently taking my elbow to keep me from going away. “It’s not over. You know it’s not.”

“Why wouldn’t it be? We messed up, and now it’s too late...”

And then he surprises me by desperately grabbing my face in his hands and pressing his soft lips to mine. It doesn’t take a whole second before I realize what’s going on and abandon myself to the mesmerizing touch of his mouth engulfing mine. As I move my own lips over his eagerly, the sensation of his thumb lightly brushing my cheek makes me weak in the knees, so I lean on the desk for more support. As we deepen the kiss and I feel his tongue caress mine the way he did on that beach in Hawaii last year, I hang on tight to his back. It’s as if I needed his strong arms to keep from being swept away by the current passing between us. Eventually, we have to come up for air, and as Josh presses his forehead against mine, breathless, he whispers.

“It’s never too late.”


End file.
